Meet my Lawyer

It is my pleasure to introduce to you my new lawyer, Esquire Lana Florence Flowers, JD. (I'm not sure that is exactly her specific title but it sounds official and I like it, so I'm going with it)

Lana grew up in the big city of Augusta, Arkansas (not Georgia) and went to school in the bubble that is Harding Academy. We met in college when she was a freshman and I was a sophomore. We were neighbors in the dorm and since mine and my roommate Whitney's room had the only bathtub on the 4th floor (we were high class) she instantly wanted to become my friend so she could take bubble baths and shave her legs. She was pretty cool and had a lot to learn about college life so I took her under my wing and showed her the ropes. (I also let her shave her legs in my tub)

We discovered we had a lot of things in common such as: Our love for trailer parks, naps, backroading, wife beaters, being the boss, road trips, theme parties on random nights of the week, card games, being lazy by a large body of water, Golden Girls, pizza rolls, and all things George Strait & Garth Brooks related. Our friendship blossomed and most of my favorite college memories include her! Only she could make me learn to walk on stilts & dress up as a clown in front of the entire campus! (I hate clowns. They terrify me. See, I told you she was bossy)

While we are alot alike there are a few areas in which we differ 1) Lana has no clue about politics, and she took a quiz online that said she may be a Republican 2) Lana is extremely paranoid about any and all things. She can take any situation and turn it in to your worse nightmare. Say we are planning a girls weekend to the lake. Well in her mind she is thinking, "what if Kat drives too fast, what if we have a wreck going around the curve, what if the boat has a hole in it and it sinks, and what if the people that come save us are Mexican drug lords". And no, I'm not exaggerating. But, I guess it's a good thing. I am the complete opposite and still have to be reminded to do things like lock my doors and don't walk the dogs at night by myself. In a way maybe she is like me, thinking one step ahead. Or like a carpenter building stairs... :) 3) Lastly, Lana is a genius. She was valedictorian at Harding Academy, had a full ride to ASU, pretty much had a 4.0 her entire time there and was accepted into law school at U of A with flying colors!

Now, after three years of a rigorous study schedule and grueling all-nighters, Lana Lucille Flowers has graduated with her Juris Doctorate from the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville. She takes the bar exam in May and then will be ready to uphold and enforce the laws of this great land! She will also be handling any and all of my legal battles, so don't mess with me... I have a really smart lawyer!

Thank you AufderHeide Flying readers for allowing me this point of personal privilege (that's lawyer talk there) and if you're friends with Lana on Facebook be sure to tell her Congrats! Oh and Lan, please allow this adoring blog post to serve as your graduation present until I buy you an actual present approximately 3 months from now!

-The picture above is of Lan and her daddy, Big Mike on graduation day. He, Lan, & I share the same dream of growing old on a secluded cabin by the lake and writing country music. He and her mom Deb are very proud of her and also excited they will no longer be financially responsible for her well being!

Have You Hugged a Crop Duster Lately

Cupcake and Brother Bear, my favorite crop dusters!

So obviously I'm a little late on this (and it's pretty pathetic given my affinity to make a celebration out of any and every holiday) but May 29th was INTERNATIONAL CROP DUSTER DAY!!!!

To all my favorite crop dusters (Matthew, Cupcake, Lonnie, & Brandon), crop dusters I kinda know or have at least heard of, (with the possible exemption of one) and all our crop dusting brothers across America and over seas, Thank you for your service, dedication and hard work. You are a major factor in the worlds' food supply. You aid farmers in producing a safe, affordable and abundant supply of food, fiber, and bio-fuel. Your work helps keep clothes on our back and food in our bellies. It seems without you we would be like the early days day of Adam and Eve; everyone running around naked and eating fruit!

Ok, Ok... So maybe I'm being a bit dramatic... But they really are a very important part of the agricultural industry and factor into many parts of our daily lives. I'm very blessed to work around a fabulous group of crop dusters and get to thank them daily for what they do.

If the International Crop Duster Day holiday slipped your mind too, perhaps next time you see a friendly crop duster in your area you should thank them, give them an "Atta Boy" & a hand shake, or perhaps the ol "Good Game" pat on the booty!!!... Or just give them a hug! (Crop Dusters love hugs) Either way, you'll be glad you did!

As the Prop Turns (Part 3)

Matthew working off Hillman's dirt strip on Saturday. I got to come visit (and get covered in dust) when I brought the loader truck some oil!

Here's your weekly (ehh, not always weekly, sometimes I forget) installment of events going on around the airport.

*June Bug: June is here & Summer has arrived! I'm suddenly craving to be on the water or have sand between my toes... Unfortunately, the closest that I can get to those two things would be a dip in the water truck or walk around the tarmac barefoot and feel the urea underneath my toes. (I'll pass) With the days getting longer, harder, and hotter we are certainly feeling the arrival of summer around the airport. We are stocked up on water and Gatorade and the air conditioning is running full blast! (Except when I have to turn the AC off in my office because it's so loud and I'm so deaf)

*Playing Hooky: So much to the unhappiness of my crew, I cut out to Little Rock around 2 Saturday afternoon and just got back in the office around 8am this morning. My wonderful mother took hold of the reigns while I was out gallivanting in Little Rock... And by gallivanting I mean sleeping in, cleaning my house, laying out, working in the yard, and eating really great food! Gabe made a big dish of John Besh's homemade shrimp and grits on Sunday and we had a big group of friends over to eat on my patio! The food was fabulous and it was really great catching up with all our friends! Tuesday I had a great interview downtown that I'm very excited about and this morning I got up bright and early to head back down and whip this place back into shape.

*Loader Truck Love: When I left Saturday afternoon two of our loader trucks (The Hybrid & Red) were hanging on by a thread... Or perhaps a bolt. I'm not so good at the truck mechanic'in so I really don't know. Either way, they were both running hot, spewing oil, and were a danger to any driver. (Also, totally unreliable) So Sunday Matthew went and got a loader truck from Brandon Everette in Holly Grove to test drive. This baby is an automatic, has a stainless steel hopper, and purrs like a kitten! I'm pretty sure Shawn feels like he's driving a Caddy when he takes this sweet baby out on the strip!

*Wings of Flight: No, I'm not talking about airplane wings... I'm talking about Matthew's hair. He's getting pretty shaggy and if he doesn't get a hair cut soon I'm pretty sure those lovely Farrah Faucet wings billowing out from underneath his cap may take flight! I'll try to post a pic and squeeze him in for a hair cut soon!

*Busted: Well I'm not exactly sure anything has burst but I don't believe all the parts on our water lines are working correctly. Late this morning the water out of the faucets and in the toilets suddenly began to look like brown paint. Luckily, G.W. was on the case and things have begun to clear up now... Either way, I think I'm going to lean on the side of caution and bring bottled water to make the coffee in the morning!

*Baby On Board!: Looks like I get to be 'Aunt Kat' to another sweet little nugget!!! Matthew and Ashley are prego again and Ashtyn & Mary Grace are very excited about being big sisters. I've known since early last week and have been dying to spill the beans! They finally told my mom, Alexis, & Ashtyn on Sunday and now I get to share to exciting news with you! ... Will the old folk tale of "Crop Dusters Only Have Daughters" ring true once again or will they be blessed with a bouncing baby AufderHeide Boy?!?!?! Stay tuned to find out.....

Alligators & Airplanes, Oh My!!!

Cupcake and I flying about 8ft over a bean field.
Now we're pretending to spray a rice field. And yes, we are headed straight for those trees!
Now we're hugging the curb and trimming edges. Yep, we're inches away from those trees and they are towering above us!

Yesterday afternoon Cupcake and I went on a big flying adventure. I've been after him to go for a few weeks now but with us going full throttle till dark-thirty it's incredibly hard to find the time. Luckily, he finished around 6:30 yesterday, and although Matthew was still working he told me I could go flying anyways. What a great brother!

So wheels up around 7:30ish! It was a beautiful clear afternoon and I was very excited! Our first adventure; scouting alligators! Cupcake had seen two already that day and I have been dying to see one from the air for awhile now. After the airing of "Swamp People" I have become a big gator enthusiast. Troy, Bruce, Joe and Tommy, I love them all. Last year when I was in a rural part of Jackson County I called Daddy to tell him I think we'd been watching too much swamp people. "Daddy, I just went by a reservoir and I caught myself plotting where to hang the gator bait!" (this was a true story) He got a big kick out of this and loved to tell that story!

We headed west towards Lodges Corner and then flew around Hampton's Reservoir. On the first fly-by Heath thought he saw one but wasn't sure if it could be a log. The second time around I knew my line of sight and if this log was an alligator I was gonna see him. Cupcake whipped the plane around and there he was!!!! The beautiful beast was floating right on top of the water! He was a big fella too! Judging by my professional opinion I'd probably say at least 800lbs. (That Ain't a Tree Shaker, That's a Tree Breaker!) Finally, I saw my gator... Now on to my next adventure... Crop dusting!

Now, when I think of crop dusting I think of a yellow airplane gracefully flying over the fields back and forth, back and forth... And then I found out what it's really like. I guess I was feeling adventurous yesterday so when Cupcake asked, "Hey, ya wanna do some crop dusting sh*t?" I immediately said, "Sure, let's go!" He picked a field close by Mr. Alligator that he sprayed earlier in the day and told me to hold on. It was actually two fields that he tied together (sprayed at the same time) and were only separated by a small tree line. He informed me we would "hop" over these trees and continue flying the rest of the field... After the "hop" comment I decided I should probably hold on tight AND tighten my seat belt! Awayyyyy we go!!!!

Now I have rode with Matthew before when we buzzed David and Charles Neal on the tractor so the initial affect didn't bother me too bad... We headed straight for the field, quickly dipped and were flying inches above the rice. At first it was smooth sailing; gracefully gliding above the rice... Then there was that "hop" over the small tree line and back down again. I was slightly startled and it took my breath away, but I quickly gained my composure and was again enjoying the ride.... Then I looked up. And, I was pretty sure I might die...

We were headed straight for an enormously tall line of trees!!!!! What was Cupcake doing?!?!?! Did he get distracted? Did the airplane stall? Did he instantaneously become paralyzed? Why is he trying to kill us? Holy crap, get me out of here!!!!

... And right as I was seeing my life flash before my eyes, Cupcake pulled the plane up and whipped it around over the trees. In a matter of Milli-seconds my female equivalent of an Adams Apple, (I made a D in Anatomy) went from my throat to the bottom of my belly and back up again. We literally went from 8ft off the ground to like 450ft lickity split! I thought I was going to be sick and I wanted to scream like a little girl but I didn't want to seem like a rookie. (although I totally am) I pinched myself until I gained my composure and took a very deep breath.

Hey, I thought to myself, I'm alive!!!! Hey, that was kinda fun!!! "You do this everyday, all day?", I asked Cupcake as I tried to catch my breath. "Yup, but faster", he replied, "What do ya think?" I immediately said, "Let's go again!"

This went on for about half an hour. We pretended to spray rice and bean fields. (I would prefer spraying bean fields and avoiding levees) He showed me how he sprayed in little pockets surrounded by trees. He showed me the difference in heights between fertilizing and spraying. He showed me how to trim the edges. He showed me how to hug the tree line... And I showed him how I could do all that without puking in his airplane!!!! It was so much fun!!!

The sun was setting so after a hard half hour's worth of (pretend)work we decided we better head on back to the home base. We pulled into the hangar and I immediately began bragging about all our cool swoops and dives and how I didn't puke! They boys were all very proud.

I definitely have a new appreciation for the hard, tedious work crop dusters do everyday. I have never been so thrilled, yet terrified, yet excited, yet nauseated; nor have I ever had so much adrenalin pumped into my body in such a small amount of time! Talk about system overload, and I was only doing it for 30 minutes! The fact that Brother Bear and the other guys sometimes get in the plane and do that whole shebang for 12 hours straight day in, day out; well, it just wears me out thinking about it!

Now that I've got to experience the action first hand, I'm incredibly proud of them and even more so thankful for their hard work. And like the previous poem says, I think this is truly something that only a prestigious (and slightly crazy) select few were born to do. They were born to fly!

Brother Bear taking off on his last load of the evening! *Full Disclosure: While I acted like "one of the guys" and bragged about not getting sick in front of the boys, on my way home from work I had to pull over on the gravel road to my mom's and puke my guts out...but, let's not tell them that! Hey, it was my first time!

A Pilot's Poem

Impressions of a Pilot

By: Gary Claude Stoker

Flight is freedom in its purest form,
To dance with the clouds which follow a storm;
To roll and glide, to wheel and spin,
To feel the joy that swells within.


To leave the earth with its troubles and fly,
And know the warmth of a clear spring sky;
Then back to earth at the end of the day,
Released from the tensions which melted away.


Should my end come while I am in flight,
Whether brightest day or darkest night;
Spare me no pity and shrug off the pain,
Secure in the knowledge that I'd do it again.


For each of us is created to die,
And within me I know,
I was born to fly.

This breathtaking photo was taken by my aerial photographer, Cupcake, early this morning. Isn't it just absolutely gorgeous!!! All crop dusters must really love their jobs (and be a tad bit crazy) to get in the airplane and work so hard day after day. I think this poem beautifully describes the relationship each pilot has with the sky and with their job.

This post is in memory of the pilots that have taken their final flight to the heavens; my Daddy, Diggity Dale, & Pookie. And, it's also in honor of all the great pilots I know and get to work with daily; Matthew, Cupcake, Lonnie and Brandon Everette, thanks so much for your hard work and dedication day after day! Oh, and for putting up with me from time to time! :)

And Then There's These Two Hot Shots!

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet - with a few nuts."
...Which brings us to these two dudes, Tucker Allen Travis (cousin) and Ralph William Travis (uncle)!

HaHa No, I'm just teasing. I'm just a fan of that quote and have been waiting for the perfect chance to use it. Plus I'm pretty sure that everyone can admit that families in general are a little nutty.

Mine has not escaped the nuttiness. Just attend a family get-together. Figuring out who Jim Bob's 3rd cousin is twice removed and why he sold that farm 30 years ago always turns into a lively discussion. (I made that story up for the sake of simplifying how are discussions usually work. They are really quite hilarious and extremely confusing to an outsider. Poor Gabe)

But anyways, back to my two subjects. Ralph and Tucker stopped by to see me this morning. Ralph brought me some information on a field to spray and made sure I was performing my job correctly. Tucker just came by to say and hi and love on the dogs.

Tucker is home this summer after completing his freshman year at the U of A. He's majoring in broadcast journalism and I'm pretty sure whatever he ends up doing, he will be the equivalent of Sam Champion or bigger! He is well-spoken, personable and generally just extremely talented. He even had a DJ gig once a week on the campus radio station. DJ Nip Tuck was his broadcast name and he was on Monday's at 3! Pretty sure when I was a freshman in college I still had no clue what I wanted to do with my life and at 3pm on Mondays my roommate Whitney and I were probably napping.

So DJ Nip Tuck has flown south for the summer and transformed himself into farmer John. (aka he's working on Uncle Ralph's farm) His duties include putting in levee gates, driving the tractor, rolling poly-pipe and today he's helping the tractor repair guy, Kenny. Ya know, stuff dreams are really made of! He is doing a great job and I'm sure his parents are loving him being home. And hey Tucker, at least you have plenty of time to work on your "radio/tv voice while riding on the tractor 10 hours a day!

Then there is ol' Uncle Ralph... Where oh where do I even begin??? Uncle Ralph and my mother are brother and sister, yet they are complete opposites... The best comparison I could use would be Emily Post and Kid Rock being siblings. My mother was very mannerly, proper, and always did what her mother expected of her. Ralph was sort of the outgoing, sports-car driving, rebel type. But my Grandmother loved them both very much!

Ralph married the beautiful Su'Aaron Smith (also a crop duster's daughter) when I was about 5ish and she has quickly become my very favorite aunt! (She's actually my only aunt, but let's not tell her that) They had little Tucker about 6 weeks after my sister Alexis was born, so those two crazy kids have practically grown up twins. (Seriously, they can read each other's thoughts)

Ralph once worked at the airport (so he thinks he knows how to do my job better than I do) but after a few years he decided that agricultural aviation field wasn't the best life for him and he went back to his roots of farming. He now has several farms around the county that he likes to call "WOT" "NOT" & "E-OT". In case your wondering, that stands for "West of Town", "North of Town" & "East of Town".... Very original, I know. He is also a very skilled hunter and works as a duck guide during the winter time.

Those family dinner conversations I mentioned earlier about Jim Bob and the farm... Yeah, those are usually started by Uncle Ralph. (or my Papa) He is a great story teller, always elaborating, using big hand gestures, and perhaps even stretching the truth just a tad bit. He is absolutely hilarious and says some of the most random things you could never even possibly imagine. (Especially after a cocktail or two)... Yep, this guy is definitely my uncle!

I've always believed in quality over quantity. Luckily for me I have a very small family that is fun, entertaining and has a lot of love and a lot character! ... Like a LOT of character! :)

Paging Hollywood

Meet the stars of the show... Don't they look ruggedly handsome/ adorable /intimidating!

I swear sometimes I feel like I'm living in my own reality tv show... What do you think makes a good reality tv show? I've brainstormed this morning and came up with a few key things that I believe go into the making of a good tv show: drama, comedic relief, high intensity moments, a mullet, adorable animals, fashion, relatable situations and unique, likable characters. (obviously from the images above you see we have those)

Often I think to myself, "did that just really happen" and then I look for the hidden camera somewhere. I'm just waiting for a guy with big hair and a cheesy smile to jump out and say, "Smile, You're on Candid Camera". Usually when I get back to Little Rock and tell Gabe all about my crazy week he just shakes his and tells me that I really need to turn this operation into a reality tv show project. I don't think so, but I do believe it would be highly possible...

In 2009, The New York Times did an article on reality tv shows that said, "Long workdays and communication blackouts are largely the rule for reality shows, a highly lucrative genre that has evolved arguable into Hollywood's sweatshops." It also said, "The bread and butter of reality television is to get people into a state where they are tired, stressed, and emotionally vulnerable.".... Long workdays? Tired? Communication Problems? Stress? Ding, Ding, Ding, we've got all of this!

Sometimes our brother/sister duo can get into a spirited debate about which plan of action is more efficient than the other. (usually I'm right) Sometimes loader trucks don't start (and I'm the only one around to help pull start them, like yesterday), or we run late, or 5 different airplanes are flying off the same strip, or someone misplaces a 9/16 inch wrench, or we change the airplane over for a spray job right as the wind picks up and someone calls in a new fertilizer job... All these things can created high intensity dramatic moments and heated (but loving) exchanges can occur.

Other times, down right hilarious things happen. Mullet man would be a great example of this, as are many other previous blog post. Yesterday Cupcake told me that his daddy was a crop duster, his momma's daddy was a crop duster, and his uncle was a pilot. This also prompted him to say, "I don't have red and white blood cells, I have little red & white airplanes flying around in my blood". Hahaha WHAT????

We have lots of adorable animals to oooh and ahhh over. With Turbo, Woodrow, Kramer, Canine, bunnies, mice, cats (that eat the mice), and lots of other varmits around here, I think I could substitute as the star of "My Life is a Zoo!".

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only interpreter in the United Nations and I'm supposed to figure out exactly what everyone is trying to say. There are many people speaking hundreds of different languages yet I'm always supposed to know what they are talking about... Although my little sister, Alexis, doesn't work here she sometimes runs errands for us and I guess we count her as an "accessory" to the flying service. Just a bit ago she called me and had the following conversation: (Note-Alexis has the book-smart-brains of the family, common sense... not so sure)

Alexis: "Hey there is an Ag here at the house." Me: "Excuse me, an Ag?" Alexis: "Yes, you have an Ag here, the UPS man dropped it off" Me: "Alexis I have no idea what you are talking about, there is no such thing as an Ag" Alexis: "Well, it's something like that maybe it's called an Ag Bender" Me: "What in the world are you talking about? Is this from a company called Ag Bender or is there an actual Ag Bender at the house, if so what is an AG Bender" Alexis: Ugh, I don't know, I'm just going to ask mom.

Turns out this was actually an airplane part from a company from Abide Aero... How she got "ag" or "ag bender" out of that and expected me to interpret, I'll never know.

Also, this morning, I was on Matthew's wing explaining what fields were supposed to be next. The farmer uses letters and number to describe his farm and I was showing Matthew where everything was on the map. (example, 46acres on the Botts Farm would be identified as B14) After I explained to Matthew that he needed to put 100lbs of urea on B4 & B14, he looked me dead in the eye with a straight face and said, "That's her favorite song". WHAT?? My mind starts racing about what in the world he could be talking about then he smiles and it hits me... John Anderson's Don't Ask Her on a Straight Tequila Night song has the lyrics "K-13 is her favorite song, if you play it you might get a chance". K-13, B-14 close, but no cigar... See these crazy people I'm dealing with! Now I have that stupid song stuck in my head... "She'll start thinkin' about him, then she's ready to fight...."

As we have already discussed with the David Bullock/PFG shirts, we are also very fashion conscientious around here. Yesterday evening Lonnie called the flying service after he left to let me know that he was going to try to find a respectable hole-less shirt to work today... You see Lonnie likes the relaxed, slightly distressed tees (one being an old DeWitt band shirt) and earlier in the day the guys were laughing about it. He showed up today with a very clean O'reilly racing pocket tee. I'm a big fan of the pocket tees! You look very nice Lonnie! I'm glad my presence at the DeWitt Municipal Airport is having a positive influence on some one's life.

Now while all the money, fame and fortune would be great, I think we'll have to pass on Hollywood. What fun would a new, clean, white loader truck be? The Hybrid has such character and Pizazz! I don't want Matthew getting "pretty boy" syndrome and showing up to work 30 minutes late just because he had to gel his hair. I would also imagine that Shawn would buy the entire Sean Jean clothing collection and complain when he got dirty. Alex would buy the biggest speaker system known to man, which in turn would cause me to go completely deaf. (I'm already halfway there) G.W. would begin construction on his own personal space shuttle. Cupcake would probably build a house in the shape of an airplane and and I can just picture Lonnie in a long fur coat, sunglasses, and a pimp cane! Hahahaha. Male Divas!

While I'm sure we would be a hit, I think we'll just stay with our humble little belongings... Thanks, but no thanks, Hollywood... Thanks, but no thanks.