Fertilizer Humor

Sung to us by G.W.

Her father's name was Ferdinand

Her mother's name was Liza

That's why they called their baby girl

Little Fer-di-liza

Hahaha! Get it? Fer-di-liza, Fertilizer!?!?! With us being right in the midst of fertilizer season and with words like "urea" "ammonium sulfate" "agrotane" and "dap" dominating most of my sentences, I found it only fitting to share this poem with you! G.W. shared it with Matthew, who shared it with me, and now I can't get it out of my head!

However, to all my "city friends" I feel like I need to explain to you that this cartoon in no way, shape, or form represents our fertilizing process.

1) First and foremost, the fertilizer does not come in small sacks. The fertilizer company usually brings all the fertilizer (thousands of pounds) in large auger trucks. The trucks then frequently dump a small amount into our loader trucks which in turn sends the fertilizer into the hopper of the airplane. The airplane then disperses the fertilizer according to specific recommended rates. (Ex. 40acre field will get 100lbs of ammonium sulfate and 50lbs of urea per acre)

2) While it would be totally awesome if there were giant flowers growing in the fields, sadly there aren't around these parts. We fertilize wheat, corn, and rice... No flowers. Some people do plant sunflowers for dove hunting, but, unlike in the picture above, you can't actually crowd surf on the sunflowers.

3) Farmers don't carry around spades. They do usually carry around shovels in the back of their truck in case they need to fix a levee or kill a dangerous snake though!

4) Farmers DO NOT wear skin-tight overalls that accentuate their booty cracks.... Actually farmers really don't wear overalls at all anymore. Most farmers prefer to rock the worn Levi's with either a t-shirt, short-sleeved button up, or an old polo look. They also ALWAYS wear work boots, unlike the aforementioned farmer who appears to be sportin' a pair of Mary Janes. What a weirdo!

Hope this cleared up a few myths about fertilizer AND I hope you get this little ditty stuck in your head, just like it's stuck in mine!